just_rhy's Xanga

26 December 2009

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 07:26:51 GMT

Awwwwwwwwww. I went to a blog of a friend of mine and he wrote all these short messages to each person in our G1 class. I was the last on the list and he wrote, "My first friend in G1. I'll never forget you."

It's true. I was his first friend and he was my first friend too. He was such a sweetheart, inviting me to go to Starbucks with him that first day of college and helping me carry all my college stuff. Our friendship had its ups and downs, and at one point I thought he was a racist male chauvinist. But he's not really. People say things but they don't mean for it to hurt you. He just likes having fun and it made me realise how dreary and un-fun I can be.

Okay, new years resolution. Try to be a better person who does not overanalyze the things people say and do not take overanalayzed jokes to heart. And of course do not hold grudges against other people. Forgive forgive forgive. Life's too short to just blame other people and hate them for things they might or might not have done. It just gives you white hair and depression. Plus, when the time comes that you realize you may never see them again, it sucks to the max to know that you could have been closer to them or have known them better. You could lose a friend.

Anyway, here's a message to you Eric:

Thanks for being my first friend in college. You have that subtle kindness streak in you. Don't ever lose that. :)

D & M

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:48:15 GMT

I'm missing the deep and meaningfuls I usually have with Riyal and Anis. I'd ask you how your prom was Riyal but your pictures said it all. You looked so handsome dear and you and Putrina looked great together. Say hi to her for me if you see her again, haven't talked to her in ages.

And Aniiiis, why don't you ever come online?? I miiiiis youuuuuu. Hope your having fun in Sabah. :D

I'm going to write a list of what I'm going to do when I get back to Malaysia. In random order:

1. See Riyal. This is a must cos we hadn't seen each other since the family reunion back in September was it? Which may not seem very long to some people but when you're as supposedly attached to the hip to someone, it's a very long time.

2. See Ikmal. Ikmal always has the ability to make anyone laugh and I sure am gonna miss him when I go to Australia. Even though we don't hang out as often cos he's been busy with Uni, he's like a brother to me (in fact, he's the same age as my brother :p), and I can count on having fun when we chill. :)

3. Work on buffing up my arms. Since I'm planning to be a dentist, I'm gonna have to work on strengthening my fingers and my arms. As most people know and constantly badger me about (ahem Han Hwa), my arms are like twigs, so I've got to fatten them up a bit. Plus I need to nurture my artistic side, haven't been drawing for a while cos I'd been busy with college, but I think I might take that up again and maybe finish the portrait I set out to do for my Grandpa. Yes, that's a realistic target I think to finish by February.

4. Thuperthar reunion! Xian said he's leaving to Perth and will on be back on the 6th or 7th of Feb. Which means we'll only have a day to jam and record our songs considering that I'm leaving on the 8th of Feb. :( But, we are still meeting up man, the whole group. I'm gonna miss y'all like mad. :(

5. See Anis and Jason. If you go to RMIT Anis, maybe we can still meet up since its not THAT far from Adelaide. Right? Hopefully. Lol. And you too Jason, come to Adelaide and visit! :D

6. Get a new skin regimen. My skin has been in dire circumstances, and coming here has infuriated it to a certain degree.

7. Mad world. Yeah. Lol.

I just realised. I'm planning to become a dentist, just like my mum. And my boyfriend is planning to become an engineer, just like my dad. Does anyone else find this oddly strange. Can I even use 'oddly strange' in a sentence or is that a form of two words that repeat the same meaning. Then again 'oddly' is an adjective and not a noun so it can't be wrong right? Is anyone else as freaked out as I am that I'm referring to what we learned in year 10 or 11 Eng?

Sunday 20 December 2009

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 22:41:32 GMT

So many things have happened, but I've been too lazy to update so I didn't bother. Anyway, I shall list the events that have happened, in random order.

1. Thuperthar did uber well at the prom. Sure there were glitches, but it was possibly one of the most awesome nights of my life. Khye Yuh and I were prom nominees, which was fun. My dress matched his suit miraculously, he was one of the only ones who wore a white tux with a pink shirt. Haha, but you looked good Khye Yuh no worries. :D Shall post pictures later.

2. Volunteered for Mercy. I've always wanted to volunteer, but I'd been so busy this year. Since I'm 18 now and finished with exams, I decided to volunteer. Next month is supposed to be the induction program and I'm psyched. Hopefully I'll get to meet loads of other volunteers, doctors and dentists alike. Plus, people my age too. :)

3. Got my exam results. Alhamdulillah it was good. I was so freaked out I wouldn't get a high TER. I came home crying after my physics exam cos of how panicked and upset I felt. Surprisingly my highest score was for physics, PHYSICS. I can't quite believe it, considering how awfully I did in that subject in year 11. Everyone was saying how the results were coming out online at 6 am. Then 5.30 am. I checked at 5 am and it was there already. I was jumping and shrieking and woke my mum. Sorry mum! Haha. Got an offer immediately from the University of Adelaide for dentistry, and thought the whole day about whether this was what I should do for my career. As most of you know I've always had a thing for medicine, and always wanted to go to med school. Then I researched online and went to all these forums where people debated the pros and cons between the two career choices. You don't hear many people saying they've always wanted to be a dentist. It would be a bit strange wouldn't it? Sure there are a few, but many think of the restriction to the mouth area a deterrent. But I thought about it, and thought again. Asked my friends for their opinions. Then I realised that if I really wanted to do something with my life, and become successful at a young enough age, I should be a dentist. For one thing, it's realistic; my mum's already set up a clinic, ready for me to take over. By the time I finish my Bachelor of Dental Surgery, which will hopefully be when I'm 23, there will be an up and running dental clinic for me to take over. I could be as successful as my mum by 25, taking into consideration the government work I'd have to do. Another thing is that I'd like to have a life in my twenties. My mum and her doctor friends tell me how doctors are often on call and well, I'd want to relax and have a bit of fun while I'm still young. And my reason for wanting to do medicine was because I wanted to help people. I wanted to be like Dr. Mahathir who apparentlly had his own clinic before and gave free treatments to patients who couldn't afford it. Money and success is all well and good. But that's what I wanted to do more than anything. Peng Han called that noble, though I suppose the truth might be that I want to do good now, to counteract all the bad things I've done. And because I like helping people. So I started wondering whether dentists could do that too. And I realised that they could. My mum used to have her whole clinic staff travel to rural places to give free treatments to orphans. I'd follow her and it's really quite amazing. All that equipment brought out to help them. And Mercy takes on dentists and send them overseas for volunteer work. Dr. Adzwin, one of my mum's doctors at her clinic, recently came back from Indonesia after helping people with cleft lips. So I'd still be able to help people. Plus I had a talk to the Edward Cullen look alike, the guy I mentioned in my earlier posts who's in his fourth year of dentistry. He's so nice, and he really helped me out a lot with my decision. We talked about the course he was doing at King's College London and it sounds like a lot of fun, besides the studying of course.

So I have decided to study dentistry. I have a rough view of what I'm planning to do after finishing my Bachelor of Dental Surgery and insya-Allah it'll go without a hitch. :) I've taken up the offer from the University of Adelaide considering how it's one of the best Australian unis on the list of 200 best unis worldwide. And of course I'm taking it cos it was damn hard to get in in the first place. With the Personal Qualities Assessment I had to sit for beforehand, which you had to get a good score to qualify you for an interview. Then I went for the interview which I was really nervous for. After two interviews with IMU and Monash, it didn't make my nerves feel any more relaxed for this one. But it went well, and I got offered the place during their first round offers! Which is pretty awesome. Plus, my mum's said that only two people on our campus got a place for dentistry at the uni, and that there were only ten places offered for international students for the dentistry course. Ruzanna was offered a place there too! We both got TER in the 90's, and I'm so proud of her. So we're both going to the University of Adelaide, and leaving to go in early February next year. Which isn't a long time away. It's only about one and a half months till I go. So before that I'm planning to live it up, Malaysian style. Haha.

4. I'm in London! Have been shopping and enjoying the sights. Plus, tasted baklawa for the first time today and oh my God it was so goood. I've had a lot of Malaysian food here surprisingly, which didn't occur as often when I came last year and two years ago and three years ago. Haha, okay, yes, we come here a lot. But only because the shopping here is unbelieveably insane and the prices around christmas time is off the chain. Hey, that rhymes. Lol. We're planning on watching the Phantom of the Opera in Theatre tomorrow night, which Edward Cullen lookalike said was pretty good. Can't wait!

5. Planning to upload one of my newest songs onto fly fm. Tried to before when Safwan came over, but it didn't get through. Maybe the file was too big? Lol, why do I tend to write long songs? Haha. Will try again when I get back, and if I get through then, pleaaaaaase vote for me people. Yes? Yes? :D

Anywhoo, I'll call this post sufficiently long enough to cover up for my lack of updates. See you when I see you. Ta. :)

Mayhem

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:36:00 GMT

So, for any SAM people reading this blog and who are curious about what we're going to be performing, let me jut say that we're the slow dance act. We'll be performing for the prom king and queen's first dance and three more songs after. We might be performing one or two songs first, then intermission, then finish off with another two songs. We're the last act of the night, so don't leave before twelve. :)

Can't wait can't wait can't wait to jam. Ahhh! :)

THUPERTHAR!

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:03:22 GMT

I don't normally go all hyperactive and crazy, but this is a momentous enough occasion for a tiny bit of craziness...

THUPERTHAR IS PERFORMING AT THE SAM CORROBOREE!

Phew. Okay.

Haha, sorry people, I haven't been able to update cos I've been too busy with studying, raya, rehearsals and song writing. Anyway yes, my band, is going to perform at our prom. I can't stop saying it or squealing everytime I see our name on the poster. We were one of the two bands that were chosen to play. Out of five bands that auditioned. I am so proud of us, so so proud. The best part was all the fun we had while practicing. It was one of those 'It's okay if we don't make it, we had the best time practising with each other' moments. And the fact that we actually got in made the whole thing sweeter. Xian, you're the best. When I was so nervous before our audition, he kept reminding me that it's just the four of us, doing what we love. And it helped a lot, thinking about how much fun I had with these guys, fulfilling something I always wanted to do. I love you guys to bits and pieces, seriously. Just three practices but we kicked ass. Can't wait for the actual performance, we'll give you something to remember Sam-nians. :D

OH! And that reminds me, my prom dress is finished! I'm getting it taylor made, and I found the design on this website and it's gorgeous! I hope it'll look as good on me as it did on the model. We'll see on monday. :D

I was watching Oprah and she was having a segment on cheaters. Actually, her show has a lot of those segments. Like everytime I turn on the Oprah Winfrey Show, that's what they're talking about. She was talking to women who's men cheated on them, and there was this one woman who's husband left her for another woman, while she was pregnant with his baby. It's really horrible, especially considering that there was a baby on the way. I mean, how could you do that to your wife and unborn child. Then the woman mentioned how she wrote a letter to her husband's mistress, and the contents included a lot of lashing out, which is absolutely understandeable. Then Oprah mentioned something that really sparked a chord. She asked her what she did about her husband. Cos okay, you have all this anger for the other woman, all this simmering anger because she stole your husband from you. But what about the husband? Doesn't he get any of the blame? Oprah's a really independent woman, and from another segment when this woman was talking about having a boyfriend, Oprah was saying something about how having one isn't supposed to fill a void or fill your pain. And she's right. A lot of the time, in situations where husbands or boyfriends cheat, the guy never gets the blame. You write a letter to his lover, hate notes, threatening notes, everything from A to Z, and the guy goes free, doing what he wants. Not only that, but in a lot of the cases the woman actually begs her husband to come back to her. I get that, I do. When you love someone, you want them to stay with you. But what about your self respect? He did something to you, but you end up blaming the woman who stole him from you? Sometimes women get too blinded by love, until it reaches the point where they believe everything their husband says. “I didn't mean to hurt you, she came onto me,” or “She forced me to be with her,” or even, "Save me baby, I can't seem to get her to stop. She's crazy!" A lot of the time they're all just lies. But some women tend to take it all in. So they take their husband or boyfriend back. And what happens to the other woman? Well eff her cause you got your boo back, right?

But is that really something to be proud about? Really, is it?

You're worth more than a cheating man who broke your heart. You're worth more than any man. I never want to fall into the situation where a man gets the better of me. It's easier said than done, I'm sure, but it's possible when you stay strong and independent. Like Oprah Winfrey.

And right now, I'm happy. I have friends who love me. A family who's always there for me and always wants the best for me. I'm in a band that just scored its first gig. And instead of feeling lonesome in college, I've got to know people and I'm having the best time of my life. And I've got a boyfriend who loves me for me. Plus, I wrote a new song and Xian wants us to play that one too at the prom. Which would be pretty cool. :D

Anyway, food's a calling. Bye now. :)

I gained 3 kg

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 03:04:27 GMT

And I'm stoked! :D Finally, finally, after the long and grueling wait, I'm....gaining weight. Haha, didn't mean to make that rhyme but okay. Haha. I gained 3 kg! I can't be sure if it's due to the fact it's the time of the month and you know how girls are usually "heavier" during that time, but it can't all be due to that. Not all 3 kg. :P

Raifana: Guess what Riyal?

Riyal: What is it?

Raifana: I gained 6 pounds.

Riyal: Really now. Well, can I tell you something?

Raifana: Okaay, what?

Riyal: You've been looking quite curvaceous in your recent pictures.

Haha, why thank you Riyal. I am well on my way to unleashing the Beyonce in me. :D

Me and Riyal talk about the most inappropriate things. Like why women's boobs sag after they give birth or orgasms. Lol, I'm not sure how the subjects come up, but they just do.

I was cleaning out my closet that time with my mum and my mum was asking me if I still wanted these pieces of paper with a story on them that my friend and I made up ages ago for english. I was like, "Awww, but they're memories! Get rid of them." Was on the phone with Riyal that time and he couldn't stop laughing. Haha, love that boy and his infectious laugh. He will always be the apple of my eye and the go to guy for any problems I have. Hope to talk to you again soon nephew! :)

Went to pavilion with jason, charmaine, carmen, min sik and jin won last Saturday. Jason was smoking half the time, which I'm very upset about. Really, Jason, if you won't stop smoking then at least do it for the though of how passive smoking can damage your friends' ie. OUR lungs. Charmaine and I kept threatening to never go out with him again, and I kept pointing out those horrible pictures they put on the cigaratte packets. But anyway, I missed the whole AISM gang. Jason didn't sampaikan the message to me though that it was a black and white affair. So I came with a hot pink dress and a white zebra print cover up. Oooooh, and my 3 inch platforms. Haha, my chemistry teacher was in awe when he first saw me in those. It's hilarious when he's in awe. :p

Love you man. :D

Braaaaces.

You're so gorgeous Carmen! Love youu!

Bathroom camming! Is there any other way to go? :p

Dessert at Fridays. Haha, that was the best. And thanks Carmen for the mudpie! :D

My ATS buddy texted me all the way from Pahang and asked if he can come to the house during raya. If we actually do have an open house this year then maybe. ☺

I realized that Mr. Cool isn’t so bad after all. He’s actually quite a nice guy. We talked in the library and studied there together too. Maybe I was put off by KY’s remarks about him. Tsk tsk, note to self, never judge a book by its cover, or have Khye Yuh judge it for you. All’s well that ends well though, at least now I know the truth and made a new friend in the process! :D

Saw a solar powered flower in this person’s car while coming back from college. It immediately reminded me of you. I really wanna buy one of those and put them on my desk. I’ve been letting the sunlight stream in through my window in the mornings, so if I get the flower I’d get to see it bob about.

We had a visitor during bio class last Thursday. We were supposed to do an interview with him about the one child policy in China, cos he was originally from China and is a product of that policy. Our teacher was keeping the visitor’s identity a surprise, and I kept saying to Xian, “Dude, it’s Jackie Chan, I can feel it in my bones man,” Haha, Jackie Chan is cool. He’s such an awesome stuntman and such an adorable actor in the rush hour movies. Alas, it wasn’t him. The visitor was actually a lecturer from our college itself. Ah well, soon enough Jackie. Then you can teach me those awesome fighting moves so I can fight off baddies.

On a sad note, one of our baby kittens is gone. It was eaten. EATEN! My mum said she thinks it was a snake, and I got so freaked out. That would have to be a pretty big snake to eat the kitten, and now I don’t plan to venture out of the house anytime soon and have a leisurely walk around.

Not that I'll have enough time to do that anyway. Gah, have to go study now. Bye.

A reason

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:58:26 GMT

There's a reason that things happen. There's a reason behind every little thing we do, behind the friends we make and the paths we take. And when we meet someone special, there's a reason behind that too :) Sorry for almost giving you a heart attack when I sprang out of nowhere. At least I didn't fall into the ditch when I was running to you. Though in a way I've fallen into something deeper haven't I?

I like the surprised look on your face, the one you always had whenever I had the chance of sneaking up on you. The best part is seeing that look of surprise morph into that smile I love. The one with the promise of honesty and desire in every curve. I'm especially glad that your look of elation mirrors my own. I like your shaggy hair, and the solar powered flower in your car. But I can live without them. So even though you had your hair cut today, or even if that solar powered flower disappeared, I'd be okay. What I want from you is so much deeper. And you've given it to me every step of the way. I still have the cards you gave, and I still crave those cupcakes you made for me a while back. You treat me so well. And I'll repay the favour. :)

September 4th 2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:55:33 GMT

Sleep is overrated. I'm going to be a meat eating vampire for the next few days. Must catch up on work before trials, or else I'm screwed

I'm officially in a band. Planning to audition to play on prom night. Lyn on the piano. Sharlene on guitar, Xian on drums and me on guitar and vocals. Auditioned kerhan for the male vocals and he sounded pretty good. So hopefully we'll do a duet, then I won't be too scared and nervous of singing alone. :)

I haaaaaaaaate narrowmindedness. When will you learn to stop bothering me. I'm not your play thing. I have values and I'd rather keep my integrity intact thank you.

I miss him. His stubborness and love. I could never forget. And even though I make promises to myself to never have anything to do with him anymore, the love's still there. I can't help it. I see him every time I look in the mirror. His picture is in a frame on my desk. I don't hate him. I never could. I'm tired of hating. All I want to do is to forgive and love and cherish the time we have left. Can't you see that? Even after everything you've done, I can't find it in me to hate you. You'll always be the reason I'm here. You told me to stop comparing, to never discriminate. You gave me the power of words and your artistic flair will always amaze me. I love you, forever.

Macy Gray

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:12:45 GMT

Macy Gray is very cool. :) Love her songs.

Yesterday was my aunt's birthday. My mum decided to have a surprise dinner for her. She called my cousin Marlyn and planned for her to get my aunt and uncle to the chinese restaurant at Lake Club. My aunt was supposed to think that it would just be the three of them. Then we'd come and appear out of knowhere. When we got there we were the one surprised as well. Cos my other cousin and her husband and children happened to be at the restaurant too having dinner. I kept hugging my little niece Lisa who is really the most adorable thing ever.

I stumbled onto a video on youtube about the treeman. It was a documentary about a man in indonesia who had a disease that caused him to have tree like characteristics. There were roots growing out of his arms and his legs so instead of hands and feet you saw roots. There were also warts and on body that reminded me a little of tree stumps. For whoever that has a queasy stomach, I recommend you to not watch the video. I had my eyes closed half the time. I felt like crying for this man. He started having this disease after a cut he got became infected. His wife left him and he was sacked from his job, because of the disease. The only means he had of supporting himself was putting himself in front of a large crowd of people for them to stare and point, like in a circus. I felt so sad for this man. The most beautiful thing though? Despite the pain, suffering and loss that came because of his disease, he still had children who took care of him and loved him and he always seemed to have a smile on his face. He believed that what happened to him was Allah's plan and he accepted his fate. This man was loved and cared for. Now, after around 6 or maybe more surgeries, he looks completely different. Most of the rootlike growth is gone and he looks much happier. I hope he finds peace in whatever he does and may Allah bless him.

It's people like him that motivate me even more to become a doctor. Now more than ever I know that this is the path for me. Money isn't important anymore. I want to be like Dr. Mahathir who before becoming the prime minister was a doctor who cared more about his patients than he did about money. He is really an awe inspiring man. He fought for what he believed was right, and some people may not have liked him for it, but it doesn't quite matter. Because after you've fought for something, redemption, justice, anything, at the end of the day you can be at peace knowing that you fought at all. Whether you won or lost doesn't matter, it's just the intention and the action that matters. He's the kind of person I want to be.

So many signs, so many truths are coming into place. The world started as a jigsaw puzzle, each piece unconnected and waiting to be put together. And now, the pieces are coming together, too too fast. There's only one question left to ask.

Are you ready for it?

Tuesday August 25 2009

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:10:06 GMT

I feel insulted beyond disbelief. Dude, you're supposed to be my friend. So stop trying to convince me to follow your path and let me go my own way. Or maybe I should have learned when our mutual friend told me what you did.

At least I know that despite what you say and how tempting you make it seem to be, I'm not gonna do what you want. I'm not like that. You should know I'm not. I'm not sure what Raifana you think you know but i don't roll like that. And I never will.

It's hard being where I am. I realised that some people are really quite insensitive when it comes to matters of other people's religion. It might be easier to just succumb. But I know better than that. So if you want to be my friend then you'll be happy for me and not attempt to manipulate me. Cos you know it's not going to work.

On a lighter note, selamat berpuasa to all muslimin and musliman. Have a good Ramadhan and may Allah bless you. :)